I really hate certain kinds of people more than most. The kind I’m attracted to. Why? Well, that’s a pretty good question. I mean, hating something you are attracted to? That’s kind of a paradox, or whatever, isn’t it? Well, ok, you got me there. I guess it kind of is. Here, let me try and explain.

See, first off you have to get the fact that I’m not all right, especially in the head department  Lose wires, wires plugged in wrong, frayed wires, and more than likely some corrosion to boot. Were I a computer, or a machine of some sort that would be easy. Replace wires/parts as needed and presto. Humans, as you know, don’t work that way, so I’m stuck like this until I die. Fun.

So, needless to say, the people I am attracted to, in general, have some major issues of their own or have very little. As a result, this makes things very difficult, and definitely not a good fit for a healthy relationship. I say this with all my heart, however black it may be, as I have never had anything close to a healthy relationship in my life. I’m fine with that, really, as relationships are just not something I’m realyl capable of. And don’t feed me that bullshit about how I can do anything blah blah blah. Shut up and realize that not everyone works in a set way. Also, at what point did I ask for you to even say that… or think that. Stop it. I can see inside your brain, you know.

Sorry, got off topic there, back on point.

So, these people tend to make me forget about all of that crap and, in the past, have made me feel like all the pat relationships were just that. Something bad in my past. Of course, they go bad and I end up worse off than I was, which is pretty bad given how I started in the first place. I really hate that the most, that part of me that is attracted to this. Moth, meet flame. It’s retarded to the nth degree. That’s actually kind of funny, seeing as I’m a bit retarded… oh come on, it’s funny, shut up. Fuck, I can’t have any fun at all.

Anyways, I am getting better at pointing out things in these people that I get attracted to that would lead to utter devastation later on down the road. Like being able to test the water for poison before taking a drink… ok, bad analogy, as that would mean all water was poisoned. Uhm… you know what, screw analogy, I’m too damn tired and coming up with one would ruin my thought flow worse than I am doing right now… 

I think I’m done here, this is a rant worth of my moniker for sure. I’m gonna put this on the fridge.

Gold star.

Oh, great, last minute invite to a birthday party; bar hopping about some area I’ve never even been to. I don’t think people really ever realize how hard life can be for others, and even if they are aware they can’t seem to fathom that things could actually be worse for other people. Not only do I have no possible way of getting there, but I have no money at the moment as well. I’m pretty sure the majority of people that know me think I’m making shit up as an excuse and, as a result, don’t talk to me because they think I’m being an asshole. 

So, naturally, I’m not even going to respond to this. It’s just going to be construed all wrong and they aren’t even going to consider anything I have to say anyways. I’m done trying to make an effort and I’ll just let people assume shit about me. They’re going to do it anyways. 

Dammit Tumblr, I know you hate Missing E and all that other stuff, but can you seriously stuff fucking around stuff and your user base… 

It’s Saturday.

It’s Morning.

I’ve got Cereal.

But, I don’t got cartoons… I mean, I guess you could consider that crap they have on their cartoons, but I just can’t. 

I want my Saturday Mornings back.

Right meow.

Deus Ex is fun…

Until you have to do combat…

The AI is pretty darn retarded and as such I ended up beefing up the Pistol and adding a Silencer to it. Any guard I encounter can be easily dispatched with one shot to the head. All of my abilities are not set up for fire fights. After taking out 10+ guards in an area without breaking a sweat, I started collecting more ammo and at this point I just laugh when enemies show up on the radar. The only time I stop laughing is when they happen to have a mech of any sort with them… I swear the only thing that downs them are EMP grenades, which aren’t exactly plentiful. 

Then come the bosses… Which I’m never EVER prepared for… If I was beefed up enough to fight them, then all the wonderful Hacking and the Experience and fun toys that leads me to would have been impossible to get… So, I tend to die a lot and have to resort to using tricks to befuddle the idiotic AI. As such, I have made the first boss kill himself and I plan to do much the same with the second… as soon as I get used to her patterns. 

Does anyone else miss the option to do complete stealth? These boss fights are ruining that for me… I wanted to do a pure Stealth run… But ended up playing a trigger-happy Hacker instead.  I hate being forced into combat… Grrr…

I love it when people are judgmental and opinionated. I love when they are so wrapped up in these that they lose sight of everything else. I love laughing in their face and waving goodbye. Sorry, but you’re skewed vision of the world is too far off. I’m nothing like you think I am, and maybe if you were a real friend you’d get that fact. Sorry that I don’t do things, feel things, say things, or am things you can comprehend. Sorry for not fitting in a nice little box. I’m also sorry you’re the way you are. You have a lot of good qualities, but you unfortunately aren’t able to let those out. To be quite honest I defended you to a lot of people. They told me they got bad vibes, told me a lot of things. I didn’t listen, because I like to give the benefit of the doubt. I mean, I could have just ignored you just now, but I didn’t. What did I get for that? More opinions and judgments. Oh, but see it’s all my fault that you treat me like that. Because I’m not paying attention to my “real friends”. Did you ever stop to think that maybe I am. That maybe you just weren’t one of them? Because after all the shit you pulled, it’s hard to consider you a friend. In fact, that’s never going to happen now. 

Congratulations, you’re fake. 

I have to thank you for one thing though, I no have a new little link to tag onto my Tumblr for rants. You are the first. Feel special, because it’ll be the last time I’ll mention you here.